I Love You Too
by 0nceup0natime
Summary: The first time Eren tells Mikasa he loves her and the first time she says it back.


**Note: Slightly AU. Post chapter 50 but before the canon of chapter 51 because I started writing this before going back to see where exactly everyone was going and for the sake of this story (and my sanity) it works out better they were going straight to HQ.**

**Also I own nothing.**

* * *

The journey back to HQ was a hard one, both mentally and physically. The weight of the lives lost was proving to be great and for those with injuries, it was an added burden dragging them down.

Among the injured there was Mikasa. She tried hiding her pain but Eren knew her too well. He knew her more than she would have liked at the moment. She wanted no one to see just how badly she was injured and how much pain she was experiencing.

The bouncing that came as a result of riding a horse did nothing for the ribs that Mikasa was almost positive were broken. With every step forward the horse took, her arms around Eren grew tighter.

It was the binding hold on his waist that first alerted Eren to the severity of her injuries. Looking down, he could see her clenched fingers and white knuckles.

Without losing sight of the direction he was to be moving in, Eren yelled back to Mikasa.

"Mikasa! Are you alright?"

He felt her shift forward and move her head close to his ear and yelled her reply.

"Yes…keep your eyes forward. Don't worry about me, I'm fine."

He really shouldn't have expected anything but that from her. Knowing that there was nothing in his power to help her where they were, he refocused all of his attention to getting back to HQ. And getting back as quickly as possible at that. _The faster I get back, the quicker a doctor can see to Mikasa._

* * *

There it was. Eren could finally see the gates leading into HQ, and just in time because all of a sudden he felt Mikasa slump forward against his back and begin to slip off from behind him. Grabbing on to her with one hand, he urged his horse forward.

As soon as he made it inside HQ, and before his horse even had a chance to stop completely, Eren slid off the horse and gently brought Mikasa down into his arms. The moment he had her in his arms, he started to scream for help, from anyone who would listen. Looking down at her and seeing she still had not regained consciousness his screaming became frantic.

Finally someone brought a doctor who then tried taken Mikasa from him. At first his arms only tightened around her, but with some convincing he finally relented his hold on her and let the doctor take her. What he wasn't expecting was the order to stay put and not follow.

"Like hell I won't follow"

He took a step forward only to be bared but an arm, but it wasn't the arm of the doctor or his colleagues, for they had already turned and headed inside to the infirmary. Eren was about to yell at whoever thought they could stop him from following. Working up a few curses for good measure, he turned to yell at the arm's owner only to find Armin standing next to him.

"Let her go Eren. Let her go with them. They know what they're doing. She's going to be alright."

"You don't know that! She could be in there _dying_ and it would be my own fault. My own fucking fault. And I don't know how I could live with myself if she died and I never even told her—"

Eren's emotions had boiled to the top, they were overwhelming him. He could feel the increasing wetness in his eyes and his clenched fingers at his side. He looked up at Armin again but was greeted with a look full of pity and concern, something else that Eren couldn't take in his current state of mind.

Rather than risk giving into his emotions in public where anyone could see, he stormed off towards the infirmary and sunk down against the wall. Bringing his knees up against his chest, he finally let the tears fall as he dropped his head down against his knees. His shelter from the world and he was left to drown in his emotions.

He didn't know how long he sat slumped against the wall when he felt hands shaking him back into the world. Looking up, Eren found himself looking at the doctor who had taken Mikasa from him earlier.

"She's stable, weak and needs time to recover, but she's going to be alright."

Eren closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath, then a few more for good measure. Working up the strength, he opened his eyes and finally asked the question he had been waiting to ask.

"Can I see her?"

The doctor smiled slightly, nodded and pointed to the door he had just come from.

"She's through there, second door on the right."

Eren tilted his head upwards in acknowledgement and slowly brought himself back on his feet as the doctor walked down the hall, no doubt going to check on the others injured. He then turned and walked towards the room Mikasa was in.

As desperate as Eren had been to see Mikasa and how worried about her well being he was, finally finding himself outside the door of the second room on the right, only a doorway from her, he hesitated. His hand hovering over the doorknob he began to remember what she had said to him hardly an hour ago.

_I want to tell you something._

_Thank you for being with me. _

_Thank you for teaching me the way to live._

_Thanks for wrapping this scarf around me…_

"That damn scarf," Eren breathed aloud. He meant what he had said. If she wanted him to wrap that scarf around her neck everyday for the rest of their lives then dammit he would. Using that as motivation to walk in the room, Eren stormed into the room and abruptly stopped.

He had been expecting to find her awake but what he found instead was a sleeping Mikasa. Seeing his childhood friend asleep and looking more at ease than he had seen her in a long time, Eren slowly turned around, softly closed the door and made his way over to the chair that had already been placed at her bedside.

Lowering himself down into the chair, Eren took a shaky breath and finally looked at Mikasa, really looked at her. From the doorway she had seemed okay, recovered, in a peaceful sleep. But now that he was closer to her, he realized just how damaged her body really was. The sheets where pulled up to under her arms which didn't leave much exposed skin, but from the skin that was exposed, Eren noticed that most of said skin was littered with new cuts, and scars from old cuts, and bruises in varying shades of blacks and blues. _If this is what I can see now, I can't imagine what the damage to her ribs looks like._

Eren couldn't help but think of when he had first met this girl, just a small thing, so broken. He remembers that he made a silent promise, both to himself and her, that he would make sure this girl was never broken again. Seeing the state of Mikasa's injuries brought this memory back to the front of Eren's mind, and he was immediately filled with guilt.

"I've been such an idiot," he whispered out loud.

How could he have treated her as he had been lately? She had been the only one sticking up for him regardless of the situation._ And what do I do? Yell at her and tell her I don't need her._ When the truth is, that Eren needs Mikasa desperately. His need for her has always been buried under his annoyance of being babied by her. But just looking at her now, and thinking of what could have happened today had those titans continued after them and not each other, Eren's subconscious was forcing him to acknowledge that which he wouldn't in normal circumstances.

Eren's emotions were peaking again, this time all his thoughts were revolving over one statement; truth that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

"I could have lost you today," Eren said, voice thick with emotion.

Hastily, her grabbed onto her hand closest to him and rested his head down on the bed next to their joined hands.

"M—Mikasa, I'm so sorry…" he began, voice muffled by the sheets.

"I've been such a fool, and an ass. I know I have. Even you can't argue with me there," he let out a watery laugh before continuing.

"You've been by my side this whole time and I've been pushing you away. I know it hurts you when I do, I can see it in your eyes, but…I suppose maybe that's why I push you away. You deserve someone better than me, so I guess I figured that if I hurt you enough, you'll go find someone else. You deserve someone who can protect you, someone strong enough to protect you because we all know I'm not the strongest link."

Here he stopped, working up the courage to say the rest of what he had to get out, knowing that this would be his only chance to say it. With Mikasa asleep, he had the courage to speak, to let out everything that's been running through his mind the past hour.

Lifting his head up, he gripped her hand firmly, looked right at her sleeping face and found the courage to continue.

"What I'm really trying to say here Mikasa is well, I'm nothing. I can't protect you, I'm not strong enough to protect you, and even when I am strong enough as a titan, I still hurt you, hell I almost killed you. When I push you away it's for all these reasons, but mostly because I should be the one protecting you, not the other way around. I told myself I would protect you from this cruel world the first time I met you, when I wrapped that scarf around your neck. But I can't. You don't need my protection, you never have, and it kills me. It kills me because I love you. I love you Mikasa, and I meant what I said, as long as you want me to, I'll be here, I'll wrap that scarf around your neck every day if you want me to, but I'm—"

Eren froze. He felt fingers move beneath his own, fingers that shouldn't be moving at all. Looking up at her face, he saw Mikasa's eyes open, and staring intently at him. He felt her fingers lace between his own as she opened her mouth to say something to him.

_Oh fuck, what have I done. If she heard anything I've said I'm a dead ma-_

"Did you mean it?" Her voice was so soft and vulnerable. Eren wasn't sure if she did speak, but then she asked again, louder this time.

He thought of pretending he didn't know what she was talking about, but in his current emotional state, he knew she'd see right through him, so he had only one option, only one way to respond with her question.

"Yes."

She closed her eyes and let out a breath. "Don't play me Eren. If you meant what you said, say it to me awake. Can you look me in the eye and tell me you—"

Eren had leaned forward, grabbed the ends of her scarf and brought her face towards his. Her words were lost in the gasp from being tugged forward, but were swallowed and forgotten as Eren's lips pressed against her own.

Just as Mikasa was relaxing into the kiss, Eren pulled back, but didn't move far. Leaning back to look into her eyes, he said in the most sincere and tender voice Mikasa had ever heard from him, "I love you."

Mikasa closed her eyes and smiled softly, and Eren mirrored her smile.

She then brought her hands up and around his neck, dug her fingers in the hairs at the nape of his neck, and softly but firmly, initiated a kiss of her own. This kiss was different from the first. Both of them were aware of what was happening and no one stopped this one.

This kiss was full of past and present pains, of regret and forgiveness, of the future and of love.

The need for air became too much and they parted. Mikasa didn't let Eren get too far. Staying as close to him as possible, she spoke for the first time since his confession, lips brushing against his as she did so.

Eren couldn't help himself, he leaned back in and kissed her again, and again, and once more for good measure. As he kissed her, her words caressing every inch of his mind and body. As he kissed her, he realized that it wouldn't be easy. The world wasn't safe and it might not be for a long time, but they would make it. They would both make it if Eren had anything to say about it.

He had her whispered words to help him through the trying days ahead. And she had him and he had her. They were each other's and they would pull each other into the next day, and into all the days to come after that.

"I love you too."


End file.
